All About Soul
by Crazi.Neko
Summary: Shonenai, shojoai, character death, semisongfic people fall over I know it's a shocker! Umm... Someone's died and another is left to deal with his pain.... Read and Reveiw please!


Warning!! Shonen-ai ahead!! Turn back now if you don't like it!! Yamachi/Taito, Daiken, Mira, Jyoushiro, Hiyako, Takori!!!! Also, Character death ahead as well!! (**_no suicide) I am now committing myself on my own will… ^_^;;;_**

A/N: I don't own any of it except what happened!!!! Get over it. I have no money… Though I do have new manga! (Cardcaptor Sakura!!) Ahem… 

Daisuke: Billy Joel is not hers… nor are his songs _River of Dreams, Two Thousand Years, All About Soul, or__ Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel). _

Baby Wizardmon: She also do not own "Yuuki Wo Tsubasa Ni Shite" which just happens to be Tai's theme. Oh, the song that Matt refers to that Tai was humming is Billy Joel's _Blonde Over Blue. _

Yamato: All the songs by Billy Joel can be found on the River of Dreams album.. She uses Japanese in here but she can't speak it really so, pardon if it is not entirely accurate.

All: Read and Review please!!!

After all we've been through… you never once showed it… Never once did you ever show any of us, except maybe Kari… Hikari. God, how I envy her in a way. She always knew, always knew what you felt. Her and Agumon that is.  They knew, just like my Otouto Takeru TK, and Gabumon knew about me. Maybe this one time they didn't. Maybe, just like me you tried to keep just one thing back, just one little thing that meant the world and meant the cosmos to you. That's what this really meant to me, Taichi. 

I loved you for so long Taichi. I almost told you so many times… Like on the Ice Island, or when I came back to all of you? 

That was our clue, huh Tai-chan? When you almost died in my arms? That was our warning… 

Here we are all of us Digidestined. Everyone weeping bitterly into the arms of their loved ones, their soul mates. Except me, that is. I stand here tall and alone, tearstains down my cheeks. My eyes are red and puffy, except for the proof of my insomnia, the dark bruise-like bags under my eyes. They've been like that since you told us really. Told me actually, you there on the hospital bed paler than Ken is during winter. I was so shocked and you could see it in my eyes, you laughed it off but you ended up in pain and just before they rushed me away because of the disturbance on your monitors you slipped the paper in my hand with a sobbed apology. It echoes in my ears every now and then. 

_"Yamato, gommen nasi…Yama-chan…" then there was something else but the nurses in my ear drowned it out. I had thought it was what I always wanted you to tell me. Tell me what I really meant to you, so I could tell you what you really meant to me. _

I look up at the digital sky, it's blue like you said my eyes are; blue as the sky when rain will come in a week, but the sun threatens them away. I had given you the weirdest look then… You blushed and said it was because of that creative writing class you were taking. You suddenly became interested in it when I mentioned I was taking it to help with my song writing. You joked how all my papers never seemed finished. I nearly finished something though, Tai-chan. Your song, our song. I started writing it when I read your letter to me. I described you to a point Taichi. From when we fought, to when you… when you passed. I wrote another one when you were sick… I meant to give it to you… But I'll have to wait to serenade you till I see you in the place above the heavens where you fly… my angelic savior…

That is exactly what you are Taichi-chan… My angel, my savior, my love, my friend… 

Thinking on it now, Taichi… It's not as depressing that you went on… Now you really are what I saw you as, Tai-chan. An angel, the ever valiant angel who saved my life many times, who stood by me when no one else would, when my parents started fighting again after we defeated Apocalypmon. You met me in the park like I asked and wrapped me in a hug and told me that it wasn't my fault, that it could never be my fault because that was not my nature, not me, not my soul, nor my heart. I know that was when you really had all of my heart and would for all eternity.

You told me that I would make it, with or without my band when I said I wanted to be a famous rock star. Tai-chan… You promised me, Taichi-chan, that you would always be at my concerts and be my number one fan. You were there when I had writers' block, when I was depressed, when we were broke, when I thought I wouldn't make it passed losing Mia… You were ready to hunt her down and kill her. Heheh… 

I showed up at your new apartment soaked because of the rain, crying because I had wanted to fall in love with her, and almost succeeded, and then she left. Not even that… She was making out with a guy where she had said to meet her. She stopped when she glimpsed me and as she pulled him up to get out of the rain that had started; she threw down the angel pendant I had given her. I had it when I showed up at your place, but after that I couldn't find it to take back… though, time to time… I thought I saw the gold chain around your own neck. 

I was with you when you slipped into the last comma, Taichi. And I was there when they lowered you. So inappropriate for an angel to be buried, but I wasn't asked… 

Hikari has almost constantly sobbed into Miyako's arms, while Takeru stands by with his arms protectively around a silent, sad-eyed Iori. Jyou and Koushiro stand solemnly watching them. Mimi and Sora stand near Miyako and Hikari as well. Daisuke and Ken are near me, Daisuke seems unsure of how to approach me. They are all afraid of how this will affect me. TK, he knows that I need my space when something tremendous like this happens. My poor Otouto-chan didn't know how to tell me he knew that I loved Taichi, or how to tell me to just tell because of the looks Tai gave said he loved me back. 

Thinking totally out of the box now, I wonder if I had told him, would he have been able to fight? His father left only two months before he got really sick and didn't show back up till it was almost the end of the funeral. Hikari couldn't even look him in the face. None of us could. Tai was very close to his father. Tai had once said that he told his father that he couldn't leave Kari-chan and that was one of the two things keeping him here, in Odaiba. The other was the rest of the digidestined I know it. But as Agumon told me, mostly me. He could go to the digital world whenever he wanted, since the younger chosen defeated Malomyotismon we all have received D-3s. 

My thoughts wander now more than they ever had… He kept them order, brightened my day with only his smile… With a mere touch, such as his hand gently on my shoulder, I was sent to heaven for a moment. I loved him with all my heart and was too afraid to tell him. And he himself, the Keeper of Courage and the wondrous leader that he was, was too afraid to tell me. 

Back to what I was saying before I went off about why you wouldn't leave, before your father, too… Taichi-chan… Had I told you I love you, would you have kept fighting…? I know you lost your father, your sister has Miyako-kun, Sora-kun, Mimi-kun, and Takeru-chan at the least, but what about me Taichi? I break down now. I've fallen to my knees all out sobbing down onto the digital earth. I feel a hesitant hand on my shoulder; I glance up at Daisuke. He's got Taichi's eyes, smile, that same innocence as well. Both are naïve, but so caring.  

"Yamato-sempai?" Daisuke asked hesitantly. He knew Yamato was suffering far too much. More so than Hikari-kun.

"Hai, Dai-kun?" voice rough, tears still spilling over from their cerulean prison. "What do you need?"

"No, Yamato-sempai. It's about what you need… Talk to us," he said gently. "Take-kun is very worried about you. He knows you need your space, we all do, but you've been taking this harder than Hika-kun. I know that you love Taichi-sempai… It's not past tense… You still do, but he wouldn't want you to kill your spirit. A dead and broken spirit can not fly when it comes it's time…" And just as Taichi had been insightful at times, so could Daisuke.

"He left me, Daisuke… He _is my heart. My spirit, my soul, all was Taichi… He was my world…" Yamato sobs to the younger boy. He nods in understanding._

"The same with me and Ken-chan," he glanced to the violet haired boy standing nearby who gave them a sad yet reassuring smile. "Taichi-sempai would want you keep on living without him. He is still with you, Yama… He's you angel." Yamato looked up at him in surprise. The younger boy was very right… Yagami Taichi was Ishida Yamato's guardian angel. 

***************Three weeks later….******************

This is the day, Taichi-chan… The songs I wrote for you, the world will hear them for the first time… The band doesn't know them… The melodies are simple. Very simple, a piano for both. No other instruments at all. No drums, guitars, nothing but a piano. If I get to make an album, maybe I'll add some strings, like a violin… I think that Ken was learning to play before you passed. I'll have to ask Dai-kun. You'd be proud of him Tai-chan. He has helped me cope without you. He, Ken, and Takeru would stop by as a group, or him and Takeru and on several occasions just him.  He put me up to premiering both. He's not heard them, but insisted since this is a concert in your honor…  

It was all my idea of course, Hikari-chan-s making a small speech before it starts, and then we, as in the band, play our songs and, to end, Mimi is reading a poem that sounded like you to Iori-kun, Jyou-kun, and Koushirou-kun. Takeru-chan, Miyako-kun, and Sora-kun made the programs. The layout actually, because Dai-kun has made the most amazing sketches and drawing of you. The cover is you as an angel. Though it makes us giggle a bit because you are an angel complete with your goggles and a soccer jersey and your sneakers. Dai-kun said it made you, you. The angelic look was given your charm and innocence when he drew you with those accents. Ken-kun helped to make advertisement. Not that it's hard to advertise Teen Age Wolf as you always joked to cheer me up when I complained about the band being broke. Getting back on track again, and after Mimi-kun reads the poem. I sing a few songs by one of your favorite American singers, Billy Joel, and your two songs that I wrote. 

"Yamato-Sempai!!" I turn around with a small smile in place to where I'm being hailed.

As Dai-kun runs up to me, I see the youthful you for a minute. He stops and gives me that thumbs-up he's famous for. He has on a triangle T-shirt and brown board shorts. The spitting image of you actually. I lift an eyebrow as I glance over his attire. He laughs and hands me the music for a song by your singer. He grins a moment and looks nervous. But before I can ask, he gives me a hug and says, "Good luck, Yama-sempai!" I accept his wish and give thanks for bringing me the music I needed. He tells me it was nothing and says he needs to get out to the audience and see his Ken-chan. I tell him to hurry Hikari will be on in a minute twenty. He pales and runs for the stage door. I shake my head… He is so much like you…

Hikari's done… I've set the sheet music out for the song on the piano I'll use… Here we go…

The Teen Age Wolves played flawlessly and Yamato held himself together as he allowed himself to flow into his music. Mimi came out for her poem, as the band left. When she was done, the piano was rolled out and Yamato took his seat at it as his band took their positions for a few of the songs. The blonde musician adjusted the microphone and spoke clearly into it,

"Yagami Taichi was my best friend. We were closer than brothers. He was there for me when life was hard, as I was to him. Till the very end we stayed close. Taichi, you are very missed and I hope you can hear us up there, buddy." Yamato sat back a bit and started to play…

_In the beginning_

_There was the cold and the night_

_Prophets and angels gave us the fire and the light_

_Man was triumphant_

_Armed with the faith and the will_

_That event the darkest ages couldn't kill_

_Too many kingdoms_

_Too many flags on the field_

_So many battles, so many wounds to be healed_

_Time is relentless_

_Only true love perseveres_

_It's been a long time and now I'm with you_

_After two thousand years_

_This is our moment_

_Here at the crossroads of time_

_We hope our children carry our dreams down the line_

_They are the vintage_

_What kind of life will they live? _

_Is this a curse or a blessing that we give?_

_Sometimes I wonder_

_Why are we so blind to fate? _

Unseen to all, an angel had landed at the other end of the piano Yamato was playing. It was Yagami Taichi. He leaned on the piano staring dreamily at the blue-eyed blonde playing one of his favorite songs. He too was wondering why they had been so blind to their fate as soul mates, he and Yamato.

_Without compassion, there can be no end to hate_

_No end to sorrow_

_Caused by the same endless fears_

_Why can't we learn from all we've been through_

_After two thousand years?_

_There will be miracles_

_After the last war is won_

_Science and poetry rule in the New World to come_

_Prophets and angels_

_Gave us the power to see_

_What an amazing future there will be_

_And in the evening_

_After the fire and the light_

_One thing is certain: nothing can hold back the night_

_Time is relentless_

_And as the past disappears_

_We're on the verge of all things new_

_We are two thousand years_

            Taichi moved slightly closer as the boy he still loved from beyond death played another of his favorite songs. Yamato was always so handsome when he sang, because he *became* his music. Taichi sighed a bit as he continued to watch.

_In the middle of the night_

_I go walking in my sleep_

_From the mountains of faith_

_To a river so deep_

_I must looking something_

_Something sacred I lost_

_But the river is wide_

_And it's too hard to cross_

_And even though I know the river is wide_

_I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore_

_And try to cross to the opposite side_

_So I can finally find out what I've been looking for_

_In the middle of the night_

_I go walking in my sleep_

_Through the valley of fear_

_To a river so deep_

_And I've been searching for something_

_Taken out of my soul_

_Something I would never lose_

_Something somebody stole_

_I don't know why I go walking at night_

_But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore_

_I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life _

_Until I finally find what I've been searching for_

_In the middle of the night_

_I go walking in my sleep_

_Through the jungle of doubt _

_To a river so deep_

_I know I'm searching for something_

_Something so undefined_

_That it can only be seen_

_By the eyes of the blind_

_In the middle of the night_

_I'm not sure about a life after this_

_God knows I've never been a spiritual man_

_Baptized by the fire, I wade into the river _

_That flows into the Promised Land_

_In the middle of the night_

_I go walking in my sleep_

_Through the desert of truth_

_To the river so deep_

_We all end in the ocean_

_We all start in the streams_

_We're all carried along_

_By the river of dreams_

_In the middle of the night_

            "I would never break a promise to you Yamato-chan, you will always be my Koibito…" Taichi whispered as he moved even closer to his love. He was slowly inching his way next to him. 

Another angel watched him from by Ken and Daisuke. Ichijouji Osamu knew what it was like to leave behind those who cared about you and those you care about. He looked to his Otouto-chan, Ken, who was snuggled deep into his beloved koi's arms. He also glanced to near Jyou and Koushiro, where Shin Kido was seated. _'Shin-koi… I miss you…' thought the purple-haired angel as he floated next to him and sat down, leaning against *his* own love. Shin Kido glanced to his side when he felt an odd warmth and pressure. Seeing nothing he smiled, __'Osa-koi… Ai shiteru…' The next song vaguely reminded Yamato of his Tai-chan, but he could remember Tai playing these three songs and one other, but the last one he couldn't remember. It irritated the blonde because Tai always changed it to that song when he came to visit. No matter what the circumstances. He had even hummed it when Yamato visited him in the hospital. __'Tai will remind me later… I know it'_

_She waits for me at night, she waits for me in silence_

_She gives me all her tenderness and takes away my pain_

_And so far she hasn't run, though I swear she's had her moments_

_She still believes in miracles while other cry in vain_

_It's all about soul_

_It's all about faith and a deeper devotion_

_It's all about soul_

_'Cause under the love is a stronger emotion_

_She's got to be strong _

_'Cause so many things getting out of control_

_Should drive her away_

_So why does she stay?_

_It's all about soul_

_She turns to me sometimes and she asks me what I'm dreaming_

_And I realize that I must have gone a million miles away_

_And I ask her how she knew to reach out to me at that moment_

_And she smiles because it's understood there are no words to say_

_It's all about soul_

_It's all about knowing what someone is feeling_

_The woman's got soul_

_The power of love and the power of healing_

_This life isn't fair_

_It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold_

_You've got to get tough but that ain't enough_

_It's all about soul_

_There are people who have lost every trace of human kindness_

_There are many who have fallen there are some who still survive_

_She comes to me at night and she tells me her desires_

_And she gives me all the love I need to keep my faith alive_

_It's all about soul_

_It's all about joy that comes out of sorrow_

_It's all about soul_

_Who's standing now and who's standing tomorrow_

_You've got to be hard_

_Hard as the rock in that old rock 'n roll_

_But that's only part, you know in your heart_

_It's all about soul_

            As the song ended, the rest of the band except Yamato left the stage. Taichi even found this odd. The only one who knew what really was happening was Daisuke, who had a huge grin on his face. Ken glanced at his boyfriend and knew immediately that the burgundy haired artist knew what was going on.

            "These next two songs, were written for Taichi. Before and right after he died." Yamato was going to show the world exactly how he felt for his beloved Taichi-chan, even those from high above it. Taichi moved then to sit next to the blonde as he began the next melody. Osamu blinked then sighed and pressed closer to his Shin-koi.

_Goodnight, my angel_

_Time to close your eyes_

_And save these questions for another day_

_I think I know what you've been trying to say_

_I promised I would never leave you_

_And you should always know_

_Wherever you may go_

_No matter where you are_

_I never will be far away_

_Goodnight, my angel_

_Now it's time to sleep_

_And still so many things I want to say_

_Remember all the songs that you sang for me_

_When we went sailing on an emerald bay_

_And like a boat out on the ocean_

_I'm rocking you to sleep_

_The water's dark _

_And deep inside this ancient heart_

_You'll always be a part of me_

_Goodnight, my angel_

_Now it's time to dream_

_And dream how wonderful your life will be_

_Someday your child may cry_

_And if you sing this lullabye_

_Then in your heart_

_There will always be a part of me_

_Someday we'll all be gone_

_But lullabyes go on and on…_

_They never die_

_That's how you_

_And I _

_Will be_

            The crowd erupted into a sea of applause. Osamu had wrapped his invisible arms around his Shin during the song, while his other heavenly companion on the stage just happened to be crying his eyes out next to his beloved. Osamu's heart reached out to his new friend, Taichi hadn't told Yamato how he felt, and it seemed to go both ways. The next song was the last and Taichi didn't know if it could show Yamato's love anymore. But in his opinion after he heard it, it did.

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

_And fly away soon_

No matter when 

_I'll always believe in you_

_If I'm with you_

_I can cross over to the other side of the sky_

_No matter how hard it seems_

_It will be all right_

_That's right_

_We're unfinished dreamers_

_We'll stick out chests out to the wind as we go_

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

_And fly away now_

_Unafraid of making mistakes_

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

_And fly away soon_

_No matter when_

_I always believe in you_

_There are times when I can't be strong_

_Times when I'm disappointed in myself_

_I'll keep trying_

_Because I have to_

_That's right_

_We're dreamers of the future_

_We've got to make our hearts evolve, too_

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

_Let's start from here_

_Even if I have to do it a 100 times, I'll get it right_

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

_Let's start soon_

_No matter when_

_I always believe in you_

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

And fly away now 

_Unafraid of making mistakes_

_I'll turn my courage into wings_

_And fly away soon_

_No matter when_

_I always believe in you_

Backstage in Yamato's dressing room:

            "Yama-chan…" Taichi whispered as the blonde sat looking at a picture of him. And for the first time that night Yamato heard his voice.

            "Tai-chan…?" he asked looking up and seeing his beloved angel, literally. Yamato had Taichi in his arms so fast, that even Tai was surprised.

            "Yama-chan… you wrote those for me?" the brown-haired one asked. His love nodded eyes showing joy and sadness all at once.

            "Tai-chan, I'm sorry… that I didn't say anything…."

            "Me too, Yama-koi… Me too… Yama-chan… You forgot one of my songs!" The teen angel told him suddenly remembering that he *had* to remind his Yama-chan of this. 

            "Gommen, Tai-chan… I couldn't remember what it was. You tell me," he said leaning his forehead against the other's.

            "You forgot? Yama, it's the song that always reminded me of you! _Blonde Over Blue!" he giggled tapping Yamato on the forehead and the nose._

            The two stayed that way for a few minutes, before they shared a kiss. Slowly, Taichi pulled reluctantly from Yamato's embrace. He placed his bronzed hand on the other's cheek. "Ai shiteru, Ishida Yamato…" He said as Osamu appeared behind him, solemnly. He knew that they were able to watch over them, but very few people could really talk with angels… Maybe Yamato could, then he'd be able to give messages to Ken-chan and Shin-koi…

            "Ai shiteru, Yagami Taichi…" Yamato whispered as the two angels began to fade. "Ai shiteru till forever…."

A/N: Ohmigosh!!! I actually wrote something this depressing? At least it had a semi-happy ending!!

Daisuke: Oh My Gawd! You killed Taichi!!

Baby Wizardmon: You B*st*rd!

Me: Language!! BTW, this is my new muse, Tokepon! *huggles the little digimon* I named him after the pet name for one of the Campus Police Dunklyon… I think that's how you spell it…

Tokepon: How can I watch my precious language when I stay with you?

Yamato: He has a point…. *Lia glares at him* I mean, the two of us also stay with you and what with your friends, Zeemon and Taylor? Well, you can only imagine that he'd pick up something!!

Daisuke: *whispers* Matt… She's the one who let him watch that episode of South Park!!

Yamato: *ditto* Don't tell her that!! *speaks louder to Lia who is still glaring at them and huggling the young digimon* Why did you kill Tai anyway? He was, as Clare in The Lost Temple of Ishida putsit, my love-gabumon!!

*Other three blink at him a bit* Me: Yes well…. Um… Daisuke told me to try to write a Taito since I loves you two so much!! I wrote 1 ½  Kensuke/Daiken/Kaisuke story. And well… In all the fics I've been reading recently, they kill you off!! Let's see… you've been shot, had cancer, two different kinds of crashes (one in a car and one based on the American 02 ending. You crashed on Venus), you've committed suicide in three different ways, need I continue? *he looks over whelmed and passes out*

Daisuke: *Catching him* Careful Lia, or you'll give him a heart attack… *stops when he sees she's starting to glare* Right umm…. Please Review!! And she says she knows it probably stank worse than linburger cheese, but that's not a good reason to _not review!! Tell her or Takepon and I might make her write another!! *the two laugh evilly* *Lia tucks Matt into a bed and then smiles to everyone*_

Me: Thanks for reading, and as Dai said Please Review!!!


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